Over the last few years my confidence was seriously shaken.

My baby was born in Africa (away from home), a terror attack (four months later), multiple security threats, businesses lost in the terror attack, health issues due to stress, all the hobbies I LOVE to do seemed like a distant memory, two new businesses where I have felt like an amateur getting started (that’s actually not even all of it. To say “when it rains, it pours”, felt like a gross understatement.)

One day, I woke up and thought, “who is this incredibly weak and fragile human I am picking up off the floor daily?”. It was me…

I didn’t feel like my OLD SELF at all (the girl at the top of Mt. Kenya after a 3-day climb).

What I have always known is that confidence is a muscle and it needs to be fueled, conditioned, and trained. While I wasn’t looking, mine had atrophied — big time.

I was away from everything that fed my personal power and confidence. I stopped the hobbies that I loved; surfing, skiing, hiking, and communing with nature. My physical activities diminished because I was tired ALL. THE. TIME as a new mom and newly introduced autoimmune disorder.

I felt afraid ALL. THE. TIME — focusing on the security risks of being in Africa. I compared myself to others who were way further ahead of me in their businesses and working 24/7 trying to catch up and feeling guilty for not spending quality time with my little girl. My single biggest priority became feeling like ME again (the confident energetic version).

I needed a bird’s-eye perspective on my own life so, I hired some amazing coaches to see for me what I was having trouble seeing for myself and laid out a deliberate plan to return to a “braver me”.

So here’s what I am doing now:

I am doing things I love ALL. THE. TIME. I moved myself and my daughter out of the environment that was causing me so much anxiety and back home to California, I booked myself a solo trip and did my own life planning and introspecting. I am putting my physical and mental health above all else (because without that, NOTHING else matters). I am focusing on the people I LOVE, not comparing myself to people I don’t know. I am making quality-time with my daughter non-negotiable (she is only 3 years old, once), I am asking for help, and hiring (and not doing everything alone). I am taking a shitload of imperfect action (better done than perfect). I am taking self-imposed pressure off and knowing the things I want to happen will happen when they are supposed to. I have put back into perspective that ALL THESE are pointless if you are not enjoying the journey along the way.

Have you ever lost your confidence? How did you get it back?

Leave a comment below or write an email to let me know. I would love to hear from you.

 

Amy Selbach
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